It’s important to look forward with hopeful anticipation while remaining faithful with what has been given now. Since moving to Nebraska, I’ve had several moments of wondering “why?”

I tell the story of our move to friends because there have been moments where it is clear we are supposed to be here right now. And in difficult times, we’ve had to look back on those gifts of moments to remind ourselves that it is clear we are supposed to be here right now.

But there have also been moments I’ve wondered why we’re here. Early on, I struggled with the idea of what I could do with my music and Bible training.

And then I started to dream.

Actually dream of things I desire. I couldn’t remember the last time I looked to what was ahead with joyful anticipation and it was exciting.

I’m spending a lot of time dreaming
Of things yet to see
I’ve spent a lot of time doing
Not leaving room to dream

I’m caught in dreamland
Envisioning colors yet to see
I’m caught in dreamland

Almost a year ago I wrote these words and almost nine months later I finally decided to write down some of the dreams I have.

I feared writing them down because I thought if the dreams stayed in my mind, the tangible failure couldn’t stare at me from a piece of paper, or screen.

But, I chose to write them down and through that process I realized some of what I dream to be.

  • I desire to create
  • I desire to teach
  • I desire to help

Some of the areas I wrote down have been pushed aside for three months while others have come easily for me. In some ways, they may seem small and in other ways they are incredibly large and difficult.

This time of walking through infertility has caused me to trust the Lord that no matter what the outcome, He is good and just. And that doesn’t just affect my reproductive life. At the end of the day, whether my dreams come to fruition or not, the Lord is good and just.

And this blog post fulfills one of my goals and dreams for this year.

So, thanks for reading.