I wrote this before the month of our third anniversary trying to have children. I wrote almost as an act of protecting myself in fear that the date would be too difficult to process. But God, in His sovereignty, surrounded…


the “i” word

Do you ever have those moments when you know you’re willfully resisting something, even if it doesn’t make sense? It took me a long, long time to use the word infertile when discussing our struggles to start a family. I intentionally refused…


fireflies in summertime

When we lived in the Chicago area, I looked forward to the emergence of fireflies. Each summer it reminded me of my childhood summers in Nebraska. I love fireflies. I love walking around on summer nights with the flickering of…

Family, Pregnancy

We spoke of the past

|For DP: Five years, I love you| We spoke of the past this morning, Our former selves, Reminiscing the first thoughts of what was to come in this life together, We have outgrown what we expected, Have experienced what we…


brokenness over bitterness

I decided to start writing again in order to help myself process our struggle with infertility. Early on, it wasn’t so much a decision as a compulsion as I noticed that when I faced difficult times I found myself turning…

Faith, Uncategorized


I recently returned home to Nebraska after a few weeks away for a singing gig and the weather greeted me with rain. Lots and lots of rain. My drive back mainly consisted of farmland and I think that’s why when…



Have you ever had kimchi (김치)? Soon into our relationship, Daniel took me on a date to a Korean restaurant in Chicago. We waited in line for a good while and the entire time I was enjoying the new aroma…